by Ibi Zoboi
7.27.16
I write for children. I have the very best of intentions. This is a dream career and one that relies on altruism, empathy, love, and most important of all, respect. The same goes for parenting children. However, I am a smother. I have the very best of intentions to keep my children safe and arm them with the necessary tools to navigate life’s challenges. I am raising Black children. I have a tendency to hover, hug and squeeze for a moment too long, and shower them with wet kisses in public. But as they approach their teen and tween years, I have to step back and allow them room to breathe. The same goes for writing middle grade and young adult novels. I have to step back and allow the story, characters, and setting room to breathe. That book will go out into the world with wings of its own and fly, planting seeds in the hearts and minds of young readers along the way. And like parenting, this all begins with good intentions.
7.27.16
I write for children. I have the very best of intentions. This is a dream career and one that relies on altruism, empathy, love, and most important of all, respect. The same goes for parenting children. However, I am a smother. I have the very best of intentions to keep my children safe and arm them with the necessary tools to navigate life’s challenges. I am raising Black children. I have a tendency to hover, hug and squeeze for a moment too long, and shower them with wet kisses in public. But as they approach their teen and tween years, I have to step back and allow them room to breathe. The same goes for writing middle grade and young adult novels. I have to step back and allow the story, characters, and setting room to breathe. That book will go out into the world with wings of its own and fly, planting seeds in the hearts and minds of young readers along the way. And like parenting, this all begins with good intentions.
My children attend a wonderfully diverse progressive school
where good intentions are woven into the fabric of the school community—from
their social justice curriculum to their over-the-top parent involvement. The
school has been lauded for their racial and socioeconomic diversity. However,
the mostly white teaching staff and volunteering parents paint a different
picture.
I am Haitian-American. I have family in Haiti who are often
in need of money. Even in a country drowning in good intentions with its
ten-thousand non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and constant stream of aid
money, there are still those who have to rub two sticks together, as they say
in Haiti, in order to make a buck. The shoe company, TOMS, launched an ad
campaign last year where white twenty-somethings are shown frolicking through
Haitian countrysides and beaches amongst laughing schoolchildren. THIS IS
HAITI, they proclaimed.
My children’s school sounds like an ideal work environment
for a young teacher of color—one that honors social justice work and educating
the whole child. Yet, for whatever reason, the school seems to be in a
perpetual cycle of “trying to find the right fit” when it comes to hiring
teachers of color. And as for Haiti, there are Haitians who desperately want to
work with these NGOs, not as noble artists in some equal exchange agreement,
but as administrators with long-term contracts and housing benefits. However,
as the TOMS ad suggests, humanitarian work is healing waters, warm island
sunshine, and grateful, laughing children for outsiders only.
My husband, Mr. Z., is a public school teacher. He has good
intentions as well. He has a deep well of patience, and goes above and beyond
for his students, much like many of his colleagues. However, over the course of
his twenty-year career, I've witnessed how time and time again, his deep
connection with his students is sometimes seen as a threat. The evaluation
often begins with, “You have a great rapport with the students, but…” As a
Black male teacher, his good intentions come with risks. A recent Huffingtonpost video and article about his former school highlighted this dichotomy. A
fellow art teacher, a white woman, was featured in the video, shedding a few
tears and speaking of her love for her students and the many hardships in their
lives. The video also showed glimpses of an art show that Mr. Z. helped to
curate. Mr. Z. was not featured in the video. He could not have possibly shed a
tear for his students and their hard lives, I suppose. In this case, someone
else’s good intentions are held up as an example of excellent teaching, while
Mr. Z.’s was simply “a good rapport, but…”.
This is the hierarchy of good intentions that reeks of
White-Man’s-Burdenism. There is a self-perceived burden of doing something,
making it right, and fixing things for the Other—that this Other cannot help
themselves, even if this help comes from members of their own community.
Make no mistake, members of marginalized groups can also
wear the cape of White-Man’s-Burdenism. In 2010, six months after the
devastating Haitian earthquake, I launched a Kickstarter campaign to conduct a
writing workshop for teen girls in Haiti. It was successful. I published a
beautiful anthology of their poems. I reaped the rewards of my good intentions.
However, toward the end of the workshops and my stay in Haiti, I had to step
back and listen.
For many of the girls, it was not their first time participating
in a writing workshop. Their schools have had poetry recitals and contests.
Most importantly, those girls could not eat my good intentions. They could not
use them to pay for school or uniforms or much-needed toiletries. I could not
press cold-hard good intentions into their hands so they could go about living
their lives after such tragedy. This workshop and resulting anthology was my
own accomplishment. It was for my own healing and need to do something,
anything. I felt duty-bound to give these girls a voice, but didn’t realize
that they already had a voice. Their writing and thoughts exceeded my
expectations. They didn’t need me to give them a voice. They had spoken loud
and clear when I asked them what they wanted and needed: money and opportunities
to make more money. My anthology and good intentions did not do that for them.
Recently, I spoke out online against this sort of
well-meaning activism. Several fellow children’s writers participated in a
Black Lives Matter initiative. Something didn’t sit right with me when I was
asked to use the name of Alton Sterling, hours after his death, to offer
critiques or ARCs of my novel in exchange for donating to the Sterling family
or the Black Lives Matter movement. I had the visceral reaction that this was
too raw, too soon. I asked that the founder consider removing the middleman and
rewards, and have people donate to the family directly. As another fellow
writer pointed out, it was a “mismatch of cause and activity.” But the
initiative continued because, in this situation, direct action trumps mourning.
The overwhelming need to “do something” supersedes quiet, reflective time to
ask “wait, what is happening to us?” Good intentions outweighed perceived
inactivity.
With the recent criticism of e.E. Charlton-Trujillo’s When
We Was Fierce, I couldn’t help but to wonder about this heavy burden of good
intentions. When the discussion about the book was first brought up in a
private Facebook group, I was at my agency’s retreat. Charlton-Trujillo was also
there. I was one of two Black people at this retreat, and the only Black woman.
My dear friends were very vocal about the problems in this book. And at times,
I was within arms-length from the author. So we talked. I set the book and
everything I’ve read about it aside to connect with the person away from
screens and social media, to have a real heart to heart. The beautiful scenery
and overall good vibes at the retreat begged for this sort of exchange.
After our conversation, I was reminded of the few times I
had to approach some of my children’s teachers with, “I know you love your
students, but this is problematic.” I truly cannot deny the author’s love,
heart, and purity of intentions—it was all there. Having my children in
progressive schools with mostly white teachers warrants that I rely on
intuition—to feel a person out, connect with their heart, and gauge where their
intentions may lie. And in most cases, this heart, these good intentions, are
shrouded in White-Man-Burdenism—this need to save or help or give voice to
without asking, “What is it that you want? What is it that you need from me, or
how can I help you?”
I’ve learned this from my husband over the years. He’s
realized that he’s a high school teacher, not a replacement father-figure to his
students. He only listens without rushing to action, then asks, “What are YOU
going to do about it?” or “What would YOU like me to do?” He empowers his
students this way. He’s not there to save them from themselves. As an art
teacher, he gives them supplies to create mirrors in the form of visual art.
These mirrors are outlets and tools for self-expression. These mirrors are not
windows into their hard lives for others to watch with pity. Their perceived
pain and trauma is not fodder for guilt, thus fueling White-Man’s-Burdenism in
the minds of voyeurs. Their art belongs to only them—however beautiful,
disjointed, or painful.
I’m still learning how to do this as a writer for children.
I have to shed the need to save, to write for, or to give voice to. The mirror
needs to be held up to myself first. When I tell a story, I have to remind
myself that this is about me and others like me first and foremost. I center my
own experiences within the story, so that when it goes out into the world, I
will personally connect with my readers, and they to me. Writing gives voice to
the writer and no one else. The truth within the story will resonate with
readers on its own. Problematic books written by outsiders are a mirror held up
to that writer and the group she belongs to. The book says “This is what I
think of you, or this is how I perceive you.” This voice, this perception does
not belong to us. That is your voice as the writer. That is your truth, not
ours.
Like the smothering parent that I am, every good intention
needs to step back and check itself. Loosen that grip, let go of that need to
save or protect or speak on behalf of, and ask instead, “What do YOU need?” or
“What would YOU like me to do?”
We need room to tell our own stories. Even if we hurt ourselves
in the process with our own problematic content, we need breathing room to be
reflective and unearth those deeply-planted seeds of colonization. We were
taught to hate ourselves and everything about our traditions. Serving us more
self-hate in the form of help, or placing warped, tainted lenses -- not mirrors
-- before everyone’s eyes in the form of story, only deepens this wound.
And like those teen girls in Haiti, we would like you to
give us money (grants, scholarships, etc.), or create opportunities that will
enable us to support ourselves and our families. Money and opportunities are
tools for empowerment. Intend to empower us, level the playing field, cultivate
true equity. Instead of writing our story, let us write it ourselves and get
paid for it. Then we can begin to create self-sufficiency to rebuild our
families and communities. Step aside and let us also stand at the helm of your
non-profit organization or company whose mission it is to help or save us.
Don’t stand on our backs and shoulders perpetually reaching down, offering to
assist, while you remain standing on our backs and shoulders for all of
eternity.
Most important of all, listen. Yes, to the help. Yes, to
offering to assist and doing something so that there is a sea change. But when
we say, “Ouch! That hurts,” or “We can do it ourselves,” step back and listen.
Give us room to breathe.
Here are some bite-sized questions:
Before Writing the Other, ask yourself:
1) Is there another book like it written by a person from
that community?
2) How can I center my own story and voice without
appropriating another culture or community?
3) How can I discuss [insert issue here] through the lens of
my own community?
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Ibi Zoboi holds an MFA in Writing for Children from the Vermont College of Fine Arts. Her debut young adult novel, American Street, will come out from Balzer + Bray / HarperCollins in February 2017, and a middle grade novel My Life As An Ice Cream Sandwich is forthcoming from Dutton Young Readers.